I've tried to be mindful for a week. And the result? I have decided that mindfulness is like eating veggies and exercise - you know it's good for you, but it still takes willpower to pick up a carrot instead of a giant slice of chocolate cake.
If my mindfulness experiment were an exam, the paper would be covered in thick red pen, and "see me after class" would be scribbled in the corner. It would have been an exam more reminiscent of the algebra tests of doom I took in High School rather than the history exams I took at university when I actually loved what I was learning.
BUT, I am still glad I tried. Firstly, the times I succeeded in only doing one thing at a time, living in the present and disentangling myself from gadgets were very satisfying. My lack of blogging about it this week hasn't been down to mindfulness failure either - rather, I have chosen to do other things in the evening apart from leaping online without thinking about it. I picked up Sudoku for the first time in years, and remembered how thoroughly pleasant and relaxing it can be to use your brain in such a way. My husband and I have had lovely conversations while drinking herbal tea, rather than disappearing behind our respective screens. Most importantly, I have given my children more quality time. None of my initial goals were met consistently or well, but it was better than nothing.
So, if my mindfulness experiment were an exam, it would have been a bad mark, but not an absolute fail. A solid D+, rather than an F. I have also learned that while my application is poor, I do get why mindfulness is a good thing. So, I have decided to keep working on it. The giant slice of chocolate cake might look delicious, but the carrot will leave me feeling better in the end. I'll keep trying to be more mindful, then maybe next time I'll be in better habits and be able to drag that D+ up to at least a C-.