Monday, April 14, 2014

My top tips on how not to become egg-shaped this Easter

I saw my first Easter egg in the supermarket in late January. Ever since then, it's been a long running battle of the wills not to eat my body weight in chocolate by the time Easter Sunday is done and dusted. Most years, the chocolate goodness wins this battle, but this year I am determined to be the victor. 

It's getting harder; as Easter approaches, the pile of brightly-wrapped eggs in the supermarket has morphed from ant-hill sized to one more closely resembling K2. And not only does the pile grow in size, but as each day passes it seems to move even closer to the shop's door. At this rate, we'll soon need crampons to scale the pile of deliciousness. So, this year, I decided I needed a plan, albeit a plan I knew I would probably ignore.  But, humour me.  Here it is, my top tips to not becoming egg-shaped this Easter:

1. Leave your wallet at home when going shopping. This means you won't be able to buy any chocolate eggs. True, you also won't be able to buy the essentials like milk, bread and real eggs, but at least you'll be chocolate-free.

2. Google photos of people with rotten teeth. You know the photos, the type that dentists use to frighten you into brushing and flossing.  Look at the photos when tempted to eat anything sweet. To be honest I haven't actually done this myself as I don't fancy it, but I imagine it would be effective. 

3. Remind yourself that your children really should eat less sugar. This one does work for me, to a certain extent. It certainly does help me give less sugar to my toddler as I don't want it to be his teeth that may be used for the purposes noted in point two above.  Stopping me from eating chocolate when away from his all-seeing beady toddler eyes is another story, however ... 

4. Invite someone to your Easter-egg hunt that is really good at hiding eggs. Like my Mum. One year, she hid my eggs on the roof. In a drain. I was still looking for my special treats long after all my younger siblings were charging around the back yard on their delightful sugar-highs. If you can't find the eggs, they can't be eaten. Or, if you do eventually find them, they may be so yucky from sitting in the drain on the roof that you don't want them anyway. 

5. Don't buy the kids their special eggs too early, or else they may be eaten, then have to be re-bought. Then eaten. Then re-bought. 

6. Remind yourself that Easter isn't actually about gouging yourself with chocolate. I did find that being caught in a conversation with a two and a half year old that had me trying to avoid explaining Crucifixion certainly killed my appetite for chocolate somewhat. I was too busy thinking "how can I explain this without traumatizing him?" 

7. Go for a long run over Easter to burn off some of the extra calories. Although if how much I ate last year is any indicator, it would probably take a run of at least 100 km to come close. 

8. Repeat at nauseum: All Things In Moderation! All Things In Moderation! All things, of course, except this mantra. Only excessive chanting of this mantra will achieve its goal. 

So, these are my tips. Do you have any yourself? If so, feel free to throw them in my direction. As the holiday approaches, I feel my will weaken, and will need all the handy tips I can get. 

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